My Little Eye
by Policy
Summary: With my little eye, I see something strange. The problem with seeing everything, is that you can see...everything.


**_Most of you at this point are thinking what the fuck Policy... you don't update Yellow Fang for 8 months after a two year hiatus and have the audacity to post a new story? In my defense dear readers, I write whenever I have the time. Life just gets in the way sometimes. Anyways, once I get a new idea in my head, I just gotta write it down hence the new story. And Yellow Fang is coming...slowly. I consider it a great achievement that in 8 months I've written 50% of the chapter._**

 ** _...Damn my update speed is shit. Makes me almost feel bad making y'all wait so long. Almost. ;D_**

 ** _Many thanks to Lord Kyuubi-sama for the inspiration and beta work._**

* * *

Chapter 1: I See Something Good

For most Shinobi in Konoha, The Mission Assignment Desk was where they received their missions. On any given day of the week the large open room that housed the desk was packed with shinobi and clients requesting missions or returning to the village after completing said missions respectively.

Etched on the ceiling above was the kanji for 'shinobi'.

"Why don't we have a B-rank?"

Team 7 stood before a large desk waiting patiently as the one of the seven shinobi seated behind the desk began to fill out their mission request but was interrupted by one voice of disagreement.

Predictably it was Iruka.

 _Here we go again_ Kakashi sighed.

"Are you mad Kakashi!?" The brown haired man questioned. He had a visible vein on his forehead, no doubt stressed out from the job. Poor fellow needed a break in Kakashi's opinion. "Don't you remember what happened on Team 7's last C-rank!? Or should I say B-rank considering that the client lied to you?"

Kakashi did. He was certain his cute little genin would never forget what had transpired in Wave.

"Yes." Kakashi drawled scratching his chin. "But they're ready for it."

"For a rookie genin team to have their first C-rank turn into an _A-rank_ mission is –" Kakashi tuned the man out with a sigh. His lidded gaze turned towards the amused eyes of the Hokage seeing the man enjoying every minute of the situation.

 _Bastard ._ Kakashi thought to himself. _Sitting there looking so smug._

Seeming to read his mind the Hokages eyebrows wiggled suggestively.

 _I am._

Kakashi's lone eye narrowed.

 _Asshole._

With his hands interlaced in front of him nobody saw the Hokage give Kakashi the finger.

 _Fuck you too._

Kakashi's eyebrow rose haughtily.

 _You wish._

The Hokage scoffed underneath his white hat.

 _As if._

He made a gesture to the front of his chest as if he was grabbing imaginary breast.

 _Got me a wife home that I pluck every day of the week._

This time Kakashi scoffed.

 _You mean the same one that has you…_

His arm curled as if he was holding an imaginary whip.

 _Pussy whipped?_

The Hokage's eyes narrowed. He thumped his chest.

 _I'll have you know, I'm the man of the house!_

Kakashi gave him a look of pity.

 _Bitch please._

The Hokage's eyes turned sad.

 _She's… so controlling sometimes._

He sniffed.

 _So mean._

Kakashi nodded in understanding.

 _She is._

The Hokage's mood did a 180 and he had a grin on his face that would put Jiraiya to shame.

 _But she's so frigging hot._

Kakashi grinned underneath his mask.

 _Damn right she is._

The Fourth Hokage gave his student a wink.

 _Gonna get me some tonight._

Kakashi eye crinkled into a smile as he gave him a thumbs up.

 _You the man, Sensei!_

It was testament to their skill that a room packed with shinobi and clients were completely unaware of the mental conversation that two men were having. Not even their obscene gestures were seen. Iruka was still giving Kakashi a piece of his mind under the impression he had the man's attention. "–Not to mention your encounter with the A-ranked missing-nin Zabuza Momichi! Now you have the audacity to come here and request a B rank!?" The man finally noticed Kakashi's attention was elsewhere. "Hey, are you even listening Kakashi!?"

The man in question blinked turning his attention away from the window. "Huh? Sorry you say something?"

Another vein erupted on Iruka's forehead as the man turned purple. Before he could explode into another rant the Fourth laid a hand on the man's shoulder.

"As amusing as this is, please speed things up Iruka-kun. There's quite a que forming behind Team 7." The chunin teacher looked behind the squad to see a quite a few unhappy faces in the lineup as it was starting to stretch all the way to the outside.

"But Hokage-sama?" The man protested. "They're only rookies!"

"If Kakashi says his team is ready then you will trust his judgement." Minato's smile turned a tad imposing. "Agreed Iruka-kun?"

"Yes Hokage-sama." Iruka sighed before he turned towards one of the other chunin seated at the desk and was handed a scroll with the kanji for 'B' stamped on it showcasing its rank. He handed it to the Hokage who slipped it open and read through it before he rolled it up with a smile.

"A fairly easy escort mission with one of our very _own_." The copy ninja caught the scroll tossed at him and opened it up. He read through it before his lone eye narrowed a tad. His eye slid towards the smug face of Iruka before turning to the Fourths once again amused eyes.

He opened his mouth but beat the Fourth beat him to it. "Ah ah ah, you wanted a B-rank and you _got_ it." He clapped his hands. "Now will the client for the escort to Kumogakure please step in?"

There was an awkward silence.

"Will the client for the Kumogakure escort please step in?" He tried again.

Someone in the crowd snickered.

Minato's smile strained ever so slightly. It was enough to make all shinobi in the room pale.

All of the chunin seated at the table flinched when Minato's squinted eye smile turned to them.

"Where is he?" He asked calmly.

They all shared a glance before all eyes turned towards Iruka.

 _You sons of bitches! Why you all looking at me for?_ Clearing his throat he gave a weak chuckle. "Uh…well he was supposed to be here, Hokage-sama." Iruka laughed again, but it sounded more like a whimper seeing the Fourth was no longer smiling.

Blue eyes bore into Iruka's brown till the man started to sweat before the Fourth turned back towards Team 7 with a smile back on his face. "Well then Team 7 it seems like you have to find the client before you can start your mission." He looked at the two dark haired boys, one pink haired girl, and finally his own silver haired student. "Get to it."

"Yes Hokage-sama." The team chorused.

"Oh and tell him to come to my office when you find him. _Right away_." His grin was downright terrifying. "Dismissed."

With that Team 7 made their way through the crowd of snickering faces, out of the academy, and out into the streets of Konoha.

"Kakashi."

The man ignored him. He continued his stride with his ever present book on display, his face buried in its pages. How he was situationally aware (he always avoided objects in front of him) and reading at the same time, Sasuke would never know.

"Kakashi." Sasuke tried again.

Once again, he was ignored.

Sasuke resisted the urge to drop kick the man in the back.

"Kakashi- _sensei_."

He suddenly had the man's full attention with an eye smile. "Yes my dark haired rude little arrogant shit stain of a student?"

Sasuke's eye twitched. He counted to ten to and took a deep breath to control his temper. "…What was that about back at the mission desk?" He managed to sound polite.

"You'll soon find out Sasuke-chan."

Sasuke scowled at the nickname settling with a nasty glare aimed at the man's back. He heard a giggle and turned his eyes toward the sole female member of the team. Sasuke scowled even further seeing Sakura failing to hide her amusement.

"Sorry but that was pretty funny Sasuke- _chan_." She giggled again seeing the expression on his face lightly shaking her pony tail.

"Derogatory names bring humour among friends –" The scowl on Sasuke's face was going to be permanent as he turned towards the final member of the team. Writing down the interactions he saw in a little notebook, Sai was one step closer in his quest to achieve 'bonds.'

He was curious about one thing though. "Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi gave him an eye smile. "Yes my pale creepy emotionally stunted artist of a student?" Sai just smiled at that giving both his teammates the shivers at such a plastic expression.

"So to form deeper bonds between dickless and ugly I should insult them more?"

"No you idiot why would you think insulting people is okay!?" Sakura shouted to Sai. A manicured nail was thrust at Kakashi's face. "And you! Stop saying all that stuff around us. You know how Sai just imitates you."

Kakashi sighed dramatically. "Oh my dear pink haired loud big headed banshee of a student…you wound me." Sakura gasped at the insults.

"You're so rude Kakashi Sensei!" She huffed absently touching her forehead. It wasn't _that_ big. Besides she would grow into it.

"Don't worry ugly I think your forehead is sufficient in size."

Sakura gave him a weak smile. "Aw thank you –"

"It's proportioned perfectly to your big mouth." Sai smiled at her.

Sakura's mouth dropped open.

"Precisely."

Kakashi had to duck his head back into his books to hide his snickers. Sasuke's shoulders shook as he tried and failed to hide his laughter.

 _Ouch._

That burn had to have stung real bad.

Sakura's lower lip quivered and her eyes teared. She looked like she was about to break down before her expression smoothed over to one of indifference.

"I'm going to remember this boys." She said in a tone that was light but held a hint of danger. "All the teasing, the jokes and the jabs at my forehead." Both boys edged away from her as a mad grin formed on her face and she started to giggle to herself. "You will rue the day that you made fun of me _kukukuku_ …"

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sai tugged on the man's sleeve not taking his eyes off his laughing teammate.

"Yes Sai?"

"Is what I'm seeing from ugly a form of mental illness?"

"Yep."

"Not too loud Sai." Sasuke hissed quickly moving over to Sai's side seeing Sakura was giving them the evil eye. "You know how she is now." He whispered.

Both boys stared as Sakura lifted her hand to her neck and slowly slid her thumb across her throat before she pointed at each of them individually.

Sasuke would never admit it but he missed the old fangirly Sakura. The wave mission had _changed_ her. She was definitely more of a respectable kunoichi now but still…she frightened him sometimes.

Only sometimes.

Kakashi just eye smiled at their mannerisms. Ah nothing like the promise of bodily harm to ensure bonding among teammates. He honestly liked this team. Sure at first they were pretty terrible. Okay terrible was too nice of a word, they were downright a shitty. But they got better. Slowly but surely improving into a fine unit. The wave mission had changed all of them for the better.

No better wakeup call than the threat of an A-rank missing-nin to get them out of their funk.

Such a shame Kakashi had to kill both master and apprentice but such was life. He had given the man an opportunity to leave with his dignity but the Demon of the Mist refused and Kakashi was forced to put him out of his misery. It was quite the surprise to see his accomplish come out of hiding when her …er _his_ master had fallen, fighting like a processed maniac. Poor lad had to suffer the same fate.

"Wow this is a nice house." Sakura's voice brought him out his thoughts.

Kakashi had led them into one of the richer neighbourhoods in Konoha with mansions being the norm of the street. They had stopped before a particularly big one. "Mhmm." Kakashi hummed in agreement walking towards the front door taking in the stone steps. He was about to knock but paused as he felt a small vibration at his feet. He looked down just in time to see a large seal disappear amongst the stone.

Interesting. Must be the new security seals.

He knocked on the door and waited patiently shoving his book into his pouch. He didn't have to wait long as he heard a rush of footsteps and the door opened to reveal the surprised face of Kushina Uzumaki. "Kakashi-kun?"

He eye smiled in greeting. "Hello Kushina-sama."

Her face lit up into a beautiful smile and she opened the door further showing she had on a white apron over an orange shirt and black tights. The three genin were surprised as the woman enveloped the man in a hug kissing his cheek in greeting. "You little rascal. I haven't seen you in weeks and now you just show up out of the blue." Her violet eyes twinkled as she ruffled the man's hair.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment as blush formed underneath his mask.

"Maa, maa sorry Kushina-sama. I've been busy with three little devils."

The woman finally turned her violet eyes to the three genin who were looking at the interaction in awe. Her long striking red hair swayed from its pony tail as she smiled at them. They all bowed to the first lady of the village in greeting. "Kushina-sama." They chorused.

Sasuke Uchiha she knew. Being best friends with Mikoto made the little boy a family friend. Not that he visited anyway. The boy clad in white shorts and a blue high collared shirt bowed once again.

"Kushina-sa –" He let out a shout as he was swept into a hug.

"Look at you so big now!" He blushed feeling her kiss his cheek in greeting. "When I last saw you, you were a small little thing."

She turned her attention towards the female member of the team. A pink haired, green eyed girl with her hair in a short pony tail and a red qipao dress. "And who might you be madam?"

Sakura blushed at the woman's beauty. "I'm Sakura Haruno m'lady. It's a pleasure to meet you." She became surprised as the woman hugged her in greeting and kissed her cheek as well.

Kushina finally turned her attention to the last member of the team and her smile faltered.

Sai smiled up at her. "Hello Kushina-sama I'm Sai. It's a pleasure –"

He stopped speaking as soft hands grabbed his cheeks and examined him from side to side. "Goodness why are you so pale?" Kushina turned to Kakashi in alarm. "He looks like his skin hasn't encountered the sun."

"He was born in a cave." Kakashi shrugged giving simple handsigns that said 'Root' unnoticed by his genin.

Sai once again experienced a strange emotion as the woman hugged him and kissed his cheek. "You poor thing."

Kakashi smiled at the woman's nature. Not so long ago, it use to be Team Minato on the receiving end of her hugs. Obito and Rin… how the years went by.

Greetings out of the way she was about to invite them all inside before Kakashi interrupted her with his nose twitching. "Ah, something smells like its burning."

Kushina's eyes widened and she rushed back into the house with impressive speed. "My apple pie!"

"May we come in!?" Kakashi called out to her. His nose once again twitched as the sweet smell of freshly baked pie filled the air. Damn that smelt good.

"Of course you can!" She called back. "Don't just stand outside like some strangers, come on in!"

Team 7 walked inside and took off their sandals staring in wonder at the luxurious home. Kakashi closed the door behind them and inwardly smiled as all of them suddenly tensed up.

"What was that?" Sakura commented looking at her feet. "I feel all tingly."

"It's seals." Sasuke commented with his sharingan activated. He looked around taking note of the many seals layered into the walls, invisible to the naked eye. "They just took note of our chakra."

"Very good observation, Sasuke." Kakashi commented. "It means anyone who ever had hostile intentions would be disintegrated before they could get past the front steps."

His Genin looked shock at such information. "Seals can do that?" Sakura questioned in awe.

"Seals can do _anything_." Kakashi answered with an eyesmile. "Now come along my cute little genin."

Kakashi led the way into a rather large kitchen seeing the where their hostess was cutting some freshly baked. Kushina flashed a smile at them and ushered them to a large rectangular marble table for six, carrying a plate serving four generous portions of pie. "Pie anyone?"

"Yes please." Kakashi seated himself and didn't waste any time snatching the biggest piece off the plate to the woman's amusement. The rest of the team took their seats and sampled their portions with curious bites. All it took was a few chews before they began to dig in.

"This is so good!" Sakura gushed. Not really one for a sweet tooth Sasuke had to agree,his tastebuds felt like they were on cloud nine. Sai just ate at reserved pace while taking down notes in his little book. It would seem that baking was a way to further deepen bonds.

"Lovely as always Kushina-sama."

All eyes turned to the jounin seeing the man wiping some crumb from his hands.

"When did he…" Sasuke trialed off and just shook his head.

Kushina beamed at the praise. "Thank you." She seated herself at the table before giving the team a charming smile.

"So what brings you four to my humble home?"

"We're looking for your prodigal son. Is he home?" Kakashi asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, he's out in the backyard having a _spar_ with Itachi-kun. You know how boys are these days. "

At the mention of his brother's name Sasuke was already out of his seat. "May I go watch Kushina-sama?"

She smiled wordlessly pointing a screen door at the back of the kitchen. "Just" – Sasuke disappeared as soon as she pointed, running to the door and sliding in open to reveal a large backyard near the edge of the forest of Fire Country.

He heard the sounds of fighting coming from the forest and sprinted in the direction.

"Jeez he's excited." Kushina noted. "Just tell him to not try and jump in or else he could get seriously injured. Those boys get rather violent in their spars."

"Can't say that I'm not interested myself." Kakashi commented, eager to witness a spar between two of the total _nine_ (counting himself) S-rank shinobi in the village. Sakura wasted no time in following after Sasuke at a more reserved pace but as soon as she slid the door open she was sprinting as well. Kakashi and Sai took their sweet time walking towards their destination, following the sounds of battle.

"Itachi-san is dickless' older brother correct?" Sai asked as they walked. The sounds steadily grew louder as they neared.

"Mhmm." Kakashi hummed. "Might not want to call him that around Itachi though Sai. You might get genjutsued into thinking _you're_ the one who's dickless."

"Noted." Sai said just as they entered the forest.

 _Thud!Thud!Thud!_

What could only be described as the sound of flesh hitting flesh at rapid speeds echoed throughout the forest as they came to stand beside both Sasuke and Sakura.

Sakura was squinting unable to see the rapid movements of the two figures that moved with speeds that even Sai couldn't follow. Sasuke had his sharingan activated, the two tomoe struggling to read the movements of the sparring duo.

Kakashi had to close his right eye and slide his headband up to reveal his sharingan, transitioning from an A-rank who struggled to keep up with the fight to one of the coveted S who lived and breathed fights of this speed. What he saw with the new perception caused his brows to rise.

Clad in his standard Anbu armour, Itachi held up his arm guards to block the blow that sent him skidding back into a tree. His sharingan eyes widened and he ducked in time just to miss the fist that punched _through_ the bark of the tree he hit.

He was forced to roll to avoid the leg stomp that would have surely broken a few ribs as he quickly jumped to his feet retaliating with a rapid set of punches. His opponent blocked some but was forced to hold up his arms trying to absorb some of the rapid blows that rained down on him. Swift as a bird Itachi gave a spinning kick that connected right to the face of his opponent sending him barreling towards a tree.

His eyes saw it but his body couldn't react in time as his academy rival used the momentum to bounce of the tree and crash into him with a lung wheezing drop kick.

"Oof!" Spit flew from Itachi's mouth as he flew back into a tree with enough force to tear through the bark forcing the large pine to topple. He quickly recovered midair and crouched just as he hit another tree. Copying the movement of his opponent he used the momentum to ricochet right off it and leaped back into the fray just as his opponent blitzed towards him.

Both fighters collided with enough force for the pines to dance in a phantom wind as the fierce taijutsu battle continued.

"A-Amazing." Sasuke whispered wide eyed. "My sharingan can't even keep up."

Beside him Sakura couldn't even see the duo as they were messy blurs to her eyes.

"Kakashi what's happening?" Sai squinted seeing nothing but blurs clash against the forest.

The jounins sharingan was quickly shifting back and forth to keep up the fighters lest he lose sight of them. "…They're both pretty even." A loud _crack_ was heard as another large pine tree groaned before crashing to the ground kicking up dirt, further blurring the fight. "But it seems Itachi is on the losing end."

"What!?" Sasuke all but snarled glaring at the man.

Kakashi resisted the urge to roll his eyes less he lose sight of the fight. "As I said they're both pretty even. It just comes down to who can outlast the other." Although Naruto seemed like he was physically stronger.

It was visible to his eye that although the Uchiha had very strong chakra, his reserves were lower than average. On the other hand, Naruto's chakra was just as, or even more potent than Itachi's while he also had literally _massive_ reserves. It was like looking at two different fires. One was burning leaves and flashed bright and powerful but would soon run out and be nothing more than coals, the other was a huge bonfire of logs that burned just as brightly and would continue to for hours and hours to come.

Both fighters fists hit their faces at the same time sending them skidding back.

Itachi had his hands on his knees trying not to wheeze and to calm his racing heart.

Breathing just as hard, violet eyes narrowed at his friend as Naruto lips stretched into a smirk. "Getting tired Itachi."

His Uchiha opponent smirked in return as he slowly nodded. "Prolonged spars with you are too much Naruto." His reserves were running low and his body was sore all over. Talk about a workout.

Deactivating his sharingan he slowly straitened with a wince. "This is my loss." He conceded with a smile.

Naruto grinned and tried to hide his wince as he walked towards Itachi and clasped his long-time friend on the back. "Good spar! Your spinning kicks are stupidly deadly though."

"You're one to complain." Itachi scoffed. "Your punches felt like they were made of iron. I'm lucky you didn't break a rib on that last body shot."

Naruto just grinned at him. "Trust me, my mom hits harder than me."

"I agree."

They both shared a laugh to the shock of their witnesses. Sasuke and Sakura gawked as the two friends just laughed and joked around like they didn't just have a death match in the forest. Sasuke was even more shocked that his older brother lost and was _smiling_ about it.

Sai was busy writing down the interaction.

"Seems like we have an audience." Itachi noted taking in the faces.

"Sensed them from miles away." _Literally_. "What's up Kakashi? And genin." He added with a smile that caused Sakura to blush. Having stopped moving she could finally take in Naruto Namikaze in all his glory.

The most notable feature was the striking red hair and violet eyes inherited from his mother. It was like someone had taken the Fourth Hokage and dyed his hair red and gave him better looking eyes. He was dressed in a longed sleeve black hoody with the Uzumaki symbol etched in on each shoulder with matching pants and black sandals that stretched up to his shins. Over his hoody he wore the flak jacket customary to all jounin. Finishing his attire was a black headband with two long strings that flapped in a gentle breeze along with his hair. Three whisker marks on each cheek stretched as he grinned at them and Sakura's heart skipped a beat.

Beside him Sasuke's hunk of a brother was watching them with a small smile and Sakura could have sworn that he just smiled at her.

"Oh nothing much Naruto." Kakashi greeted lowering his headband and walking closer to the duo. "Just in the neighbourhood looking for our client that requested escort to Kumogakure. Just a silly little B-rank."

Naruto came to stand beside him and Sakura noticed that he had an inch over their Sensei and his shoulders were a bit broader.

 _Cha total hottie!_

"I informed administration I would leave tonight." A red eyebrow raised. "And why would _I_ need to be escorted to Kumogakure by a bunch of _genin_. No offense guys." He added winking in Sakura's direction causing her to swoon.

Kakashi just shrugged. "It's in the mission parameters that a genin team accompany said client for _learning experiences._ You know it's in that area that no one ever really reads."

Naruto frowned. "Well shit. I told them I needed to head to Kumo to deliver some seals and the old man said _you can't just head to another country cause you want to boy_ " He mocked in a perfect copy of Minato's voice. "So he had the Mission Assignment team make it into a mission. That scroll didn't say shit about a genin team."

"Did you read the scroll Naruto?" Itachi questioned.

Naruto's lip twitched. "Yes."

Itachi stared at him unblinking.

"What? I did!"

Itachi kept staring.

"I might have given it a glance."

Those dark eyes were looking into his soul.

"…Okay I didn't you bastard just stop staring!"

Itachi gave him a cool smirk. "Hn."

"Hn yourself _bastard_."

"… _Loser._ "

They glared at each other. It only lasted a few seconds before Itachi's mouth twitched and Naruto grinned.

"How many wins is that for me now? 50 out of 100."

"Don't lie to yourself now." Itachi warned. "It's 50 for _me_."

Naruto scoffed. "You mean 49."

Kakashi and the rest of Team 7 were completely ignored as the duo walked away arguing like two little kids coming out of a playground.

Sasuke's mouth had yet to close and his sharingan still hadn't deactivated as watched the duo walk away. Sakura's face was doing an impression of her hair as she waved at their backs (not that they saw) and Sai was finishing some quick notes in his book.

Kakashi watched them go with a strange look in his eye. "So this is what it feels like to be ignored." It made him feel _strange_ yet somehow content. A slight stinging sensation in his chest that ached.

"Your father also wants to see you Naruto!" He called after him, but once again, was _ignored._

Huh. You experience new things every day.

"Dinner's ready!" Kushina's voice called from the house.

Not even stopping their bickering their course changed and they headed in the direction of the house, Team 7 watched them argue until they disappeared behind the screen door.

"They're so hot." Sakura swooned twirling a strand of her hair.

"Although I have no taste in their sexual appeal like ugly does, I can say they're both in leagues above most Shinobi." Sai commented. "So to further deepen bonds I must bicker amongst my fellow shinobi after a spar?"

Kakashi was wondering about the meaning of life and being ignored. "Yeah you do that Sai."

Sasuke was still gawking.

Until a fly flew into his mouth.

* * *

Naruto and Itachi were still bickering as they arranged the table.

"I have more wins Itachi. Don't be jealous now." Naruto uttered as he put six plates on the table.

"Once again, don't _lie_ to yourself Naruto." Itachi was setting up the utensils, a knife and fork for each plate. "You're living in an illusion if you think you have more wins than I do."

"My _reality_ is that I have defeated you in more spars than you have defeated me. You're the one in an illusion." Naruto pointed a fork at him. "I told you too much genjutsu was bad for you."

Itachi just had to go philosophical on him. "Every human being relies on and is bounded by his or her knowledge and experiences of life. This is what we call _realit_ y. However, knowledge and experience are ambiguous, thus reality can become illusion. Is it not possible to think that, all human beings are living in their assumptions …like _you_?"

"So my _assumption_ is that I have more wins which you claim as untrue?"

"Indeed. That is why your reality is an illusion." Itachi smirked.

"Oh but what is an illusion my dear philosophical friend in denial." Naruto held up a spoon as if he was performing a soliloquy "Tis it not the discrepancy between one's perceptions of an object or event observed under different conditions? Thus it can be said that what I perceive of thee is an unjust liar under false pretenses of emerging victorious against a mighty warrior such as I. Therefore _you_ are under the illusion of presumed victory."

"Oh boy…" The duo noticed four and a half pairs of eyes (counting Kakashi) watching them like they needed to be directed to the nearest insane asylum.

"I think you've both suffered too many blows to the head." Kushina admonished holding up a large spatula. "No philosophical debates in the house during dinner boys!"

"But moooom!" Naruto pouted. "I was winning! I was just about to counter his argument about reality with my conjecture that reality is the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or …" He trailed off seeing that he lost her after 'reality.'

"Naruto honey you know mommy doesn't have the brain power like you, your father and Itachi-kun. So please just be a good little _big_ -boy and finish setting up the table okay."

He looked like a kick puppy. "Okay." He sighed setting down the fork. "This all your fault Itachi." He whispered.

Itachi shook his head at him. "You're such little bitch."

 _Smack!_

Itachi almost dropped his fork from the force of the blow to the back of his head. Across the room Sasuke was about to have a stroke.

"No swearing in _my_ house Itachi!" Kushina's hair swayed like nine tails of fury as she glared up at the teen. "You know that by now!"

He immediately bowed deeply in regret. "Forgive me Kushina-sama. I sincerely apologize for my crude language."

She eventually softened her glare with a sigh. "You don't have to bow like that Itachi-kun. All is forgiven." She heard a snicker and zeroed in on Naruto who quickly hid his shit eating grin. She marched up to him getting into his face (chest with the height difference) and it took all of Naruto's willpower to remain motionless.

"Something funny Naruto?" She hissed

 _I almost feel sorry for him._ Itachi thought to himself. _This is what you get for laughing._

The picture of Itachi getting smacked in the head flashed across his mind.

 _Don't smile! Don't smile! Don't smile! Don't smile!_

He remembered how the smack was so powerful that Itachi's pony tail danced to the phantom wind.

 _Dammit don't fucking smile! Don't you dare fucking smile!_

The way his mouth opened as a brief _gasp_ escaped saturating the air with his surprise.

 _Kami please don't make me smile! Please don't make my lips –_

He caught movement in his eye and he glanced at Itachi. The Uchiha made sure he held his gaze and performed an action that sealed Naruto's fate.

Itachi activated his sharingan then made his eyes go cross-eyed as he stuck out his tongue.

 _YOU BASTARD! YOU SON OF A BITCH! DAMN YOU TO THE VERY PITS OF –_

The flood gates were open.

"Hahahahaha!

Kushina swung as his mad cackles reached her ears.

Naruto saw it coming but was literally crying from laughter. "Haha mom no please – _ack_ "

An open palm slapped Naruto across the back of his head with enough force that it caused a visible ripple.

 _Poof!_

With a puff of smoke Naruto was gone replaced by a log that clattered to the floor.

Kushina eyes narrowed as she stared at the piece of wood. "Where does that even come from?" She huffed and just shook it off as one of the unexplained mysteries of chakra and that stupid _log_ that somehow showed up whenever a shinobi called upon it. She picked it up with a scowl before tossing it into the garbage can.

Naruto and his insane log worshipping.

She turned to her attention back to her guest. "So who wants stir fry for dinner?"

Accustomed to the crazed antics of the Namikaze household Kakashi quickly took a seat at the table. "I for one would love your home cooking Kushina-sama." The rest of the team were still in silence over the interaction they had just witnessed, unmoving until Kakashi bid them to take a seat.

Sasuke was the first one to snap of his stupor. "Itachi." He called seating himself at the table. When his brother gave him a raised eyebrow in response he continued. " _You_ lost that spar."

Itachi also took a seat. "Indeed." Licking his lips hungrily Itachi watched in anticipation as Kushina took the large pot of steaming noodles out of the oven. _Mmm_ he could already taste it.

Sasuke waited for more but it didn't look like Itachi was going to elaborate. " _Indeed_? That's all you have to say? I've never seen you lose a spar in my entire life. Especially with your sharingan activated."

Itachi just shrugged. "I've lost before and I'll probably lose again." His eyes were glued to the pot as it was set on the table. Damn Naruto was missing out.

"So he really has beaten you more times." Sasuke all but growled ignoring the look of warning from Kakashi. "You act like you're _okay_ with losing."

Itachi watched as Kushina served him and thanked her with a smile. Stir fry noodles mixed with vegetables and chicken. He briefly activated his sharingan to savour it. " _I am_ okay with losing, Sasuke."

He grabbed his fork and quickly took a bite.

"Mmmmmmm." He moaned to himself. So _fucking_ good. He turned towards the pale boy sitting beside him. "She makes the best food you'll ever taste in your life."

Sai slowly nodded before taking a small sample. His eyes widened a tad before he set down his fork and pulled out his notebook.

 _I experienced my first swell of 'delight' after eating a home cooked meal. It tasted splendid._

Sakura was on cloud nine from the taste. "First a great pie and now a great meal. Kushina-sama you're spoiling us."

Kushina blushed at the praise rubbing the back of her head with a big grin. "Oh it's nothing Sakura-chan."

"There was pie." Itachi asked with a frown. An Uchiha most certaintly did not _pout._ "Why wasn't I informed?"

"You can have some for dessert Itachi-kun." Kushina giggled at the noticeable pout on his lips.

Kakashi licked his lips underneath his mask as he patted his stomach in contentment. "Once again, your meals are the best food I've ever tasted." In front of him was a thoroughly cleaned plate.

"Are you still hiding you face when you eat Kakashi-kun? One of these days someone is eventually going to catch you."

"Hmm, maybe." The man shrugged as he crossed his arms. He wanted to read but knew the repercussions of pulling out an Icha Icha in front of Kushina.

Kushina's eyes settled on the only occupant not eating at the table. "What's wrong Sasuke-kun?" When the boy didn't answer her eyes creased in worry. "Don't tell me the food is not good, _dattabane_?" She didn't even notice her verbal tick slipped out.

Kakashi rubbed his temples bracing for the incoming headache.

"The only thing wrong here is _him_!" The sudden shout caused Kushina to flinch as Sasuke glared at his older brother. "Sitting there acting without a care in the world, taking a loss with a smile. Saying you don't even care about losing! Are you even an Uchiha!?"

Itachi was taking his time with his food, savouring the taste as he ate with his eyes closed. "Our name doesn't grant us special privileges. While our sharingan may certainly give us an edge, it is still just a tool that has its weakness. Naruto has fought beside me long enough to discover them on his own and in return, become a _better_ shinobi than I could ever be. I'm okay with that. I don't know why you're throwing such a tantrum."

 _Slam!_

Sasuke's fist crashed against the table with enough force to jolt the plates. "Because you don't have to go home and listen to our father talk as if he only has one son! You don't have to listen him constantly praise your name and compare me to you! To treat me like I don't exist!All because I don't _compare_ to you!"

Sasuke stubbornly pushed back the tears. "And now I have to listen to you speak as if a loss is nothing to you from that idio –"

He stopped cold. His eyes widened and his body began to shiver. This feeling of… death _._ It was killing intent. His mind immediately thought it was the Demon of the Mist having come back from the dead, but this was different. This was _suffocating_. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think straight. His hand came to his throat as he desperately tried to breathe. He fell off the chair and crumbled to ground clawing for air.

"Itachi-kun stop!"

And as quick as it had appeared it was gone. The feeling left him as if an overbearing weight was suddenly lifted. He coughed as his lungs were suddenly filled back with air. Red hair filled his vision and with it the sweet smell of lavender. Worried violet eyes peered into his own as Kushina helped him sit up.

Sasuke coughed a few more times before his throat finally cleared. He wondered why it had only been Kushina to rush to his aid and turned towards his team. Kakashi lone eye was blank as the man stared at him. Indifferent to his plight as the man slowly shook his head.

 _You deserved it_ was what his eye said.

He turned to his other team members and saw them shocked frozen. Both Sakura and even the emotionless Sai were staring at the last individual at the table as if they were staring at death.

Seeing Itachi's face, Sasuke couldn't blame them.

His long bangs shadowed his face, sharingan _gleaming_ in the dark as he glared at him. Sasuke gasped seeing his brother sat straight and tense, coiled as if any sudden movement from him would cause his Itachi to leap over the table and end his life right there. Right _now._

"Itachi-kun I said _stop_!" Kushina shouted.

Like a switch was flipped, Itachi relaxed back into his seat, sharingan deactivated as he smiled apologetically at Kushina. "Once again, forgive me Kushina-sama. It seems like today I'm prone to mistakes not tolerated in this household." He picked up his fork and resumed eating as if he hadn't just given three genin a mild heart attack.

He didn't even glance at Sasuke.

Sai slowly released the breath he didn't know he had been holding before he paused. Why did he feel sudden vibrations? He looked down to see his hand was shaking.

"It's called fear." Sai actually flinched in his seat as his eyes snapped towards Itachi. The man kept his attention on his food as he ate. "Quite an unpleasant emotion to _feel_ yes?"

Sai swallowed audibly as he slowly nodded.

He didn't need to write this emotion down.

Sakura's skin was still pale as she dropped the fork that had bent in her terrified grip. She couldn't quite take her eyes off the man that smiled so casually at her earlier. He wasn't even an enemy and her body was telling her to run. Put as much distance between herself and this man as she possibly could. She had to wonder if this was the strength of Itachi, and he casually stated that Naruto was _better_ than him, then how much of a monster was he?

Kakashi watched the reactions of all his students with a curious eye taking note of their body language. All of them were scared shitless no doubt, but it was interesting to see nonetheless. Sai was just experiencing fear. Sakura hopelessness.

And if he had to guess for his last student…

"Sasuke-kun!" Kushina called as the Uchiha ran out the door.

Shame.

 _Well…_ Kakashi leaned back into his seat as he stretched. _Seems like the only way for Sasuke to learn is the hard way._

Hmm. Maybe it was time to stop going easy on them. Reintroduce them to Kakashi of the Sharingan. Although he did like the team, he had been a little lax on their training.

Kakashi watched in amusement as Sai flinched once again as Itachi turned to him.

"Y-Yes?" A stutter, how interesting.

Itachi looked at his unfinished plate. "You going to eat that?"

Sai slowly shook his head and Itachi shrugged as he took it. Sakura took one look at her still full plate and looked at the eating Itachi and promptly turned green. Kushina wordlessly pointed to the direction of the bathroom and the girl ran into it just as she puked up the few bits of food she ate.

"Sucks to be her, more food for me." Itachi commented as he took Sakura's plate.

Mind made up Kakashi eye smiled to himself, not noticing the frown of a thoroughly confused Kushina.

Hard way it is.

Sucks to be them _indeed._

* * *

Naruto meanwhile was roof hopping his way to the Hokage Tower.

"Damn should have stayed for the stir fry that mom was cooking." Itachi was probably going to eat it all. The bastard.

Swift as the wind he leapt across the rooftops appearing as a red blur to the untrained eye as he moved. With a powerful leap that cracked the stone of the rooftops he sailed high above the sky line of Konoha.

Wanting to practice this from sometime now he spread his body horizontally, extending his arms and legs letting wind manipulation do the rest. Gravity immediately took its hold but instead of plummeting he was _gliding_ as he swayed back and forth in a gentle breeze.

"Woohoo!"

It wasn't flying, but it was close enough.

He glided towards the Hokage Tower grinning as he aimed for an open window right at the Hokage's Office. It was going to be a tight squeeze but if he aimed himself just right, he could make it.

"This will be my greatest entrance!"

He tightened up his arms and legs picking up speed as he increased the wind manipulation around his body. He created an audible _whoosh_ as he streaked through the air getting closer and closer to his destination. Leveling out, he righted himself directly towards the window.

"Naruto Namikaze has arri –"

 _Thump!_

Minato meanwhile was in his office busy going through the seemingly endless piles of paperwork. Tired of speaking to kiss ass clients and seeing enough green flak jackets to count, he enjoyed the quiet time to himself away from the Assignment desk.

He checked the digital clock on his desk and frowned. He was still too young to be experiencing memory loss but he specifically remembered informing Kakashi to send Naruto to him. Unless his troublesome son was taking his sweet time.

Setting down the paper he was reading he opened one of the many draws his desk contained and pulled out a small photo. It showed a five year old Naruto grinning widely as he posed for a picture. Beside him, was his equally wide grinning mother. They were both dressed in orange kimonos that they wore on his surprise birthday party.

"My two red heads." Minato said wistfully. He loved them both to death even though they give him migraines every week.

He stared at the photo for a few more moments before he set it back into the drawer, sighing as he got back to work.

He tensed as a rapidly approaching chakra signature alerted his senses. He relaxed realizing it was his son. He turned around in his chair looking out the open window prepared to give his son a tongue lashing only for his eyes to widen as he took notice of Naruto's rapidly approaching speed.

"Naruto Namikaze has arri –"

 _Thump!_

Naruto missed the window he was aiming for and slammed head first right into the stone walls of the Hokage Tower.

Paternal instincts acting up Minato was out of his seat jumping out the window catching Naruto by the leg and attaching his feet to the walls before gravity could take his effect.

Minato quickly pulled his motionless son back in through the window and gently settled him on the ground. "Naruto!" He called surveying his son.

The spot that he had hit was _cracked_ from the crash. Talk about a hard head. He was glad that there were no visible signs of neck injury.

He was just about to call for a medic before Naruto twitched.

 _Thump!_

"Holy shit!" Eyes open wide and a big grin on his face, Naruto jumped to his feet as he ran towards the window. "That was a rush!" He had missed the window but the experience was worth it.

"Ouch." Minato whispered to himself.

"I can't believe my jutsu wor – huh, dad?" Naruto finally noticed the man sprawled out on the floor. He walked over to the man and peered down at him. Minato's blue eyes were staring up into space and Naruto frowned at their intensity. He followed his line of sight and saw nothing but ceiling before he looked back down at his father.

"Dad?"

"Yes Naruto?"

"You okay?"

"…I'm fine."

"What'cha doing on the floor then?"

"That's a good question."

Naruto waited for the man to elaborate but it didn't look like he was going to speak. He shrugged and lay down on the floor beside him.

Father and son stared up at the ceiling.

"I see you've been working on a new jutsu?" Minato commented after a moment of silence.

Naruto grinned. "Yeah you saw that? I wanted to surprise you." He loudly cracked his neck as he rubbed his shoulders.

"Have a name for it?" Minato asked as he interlaced his hands on his stomach making himself comfortable.

"Naw." Naruto interlaced his hands behind his head. "All it really is just pure wind manipulation around the body. Nothing like my Wind Release: Chakra Mode."

"A chakra mode?" Minato questioned raising a brow. "Like the Raikage's?"

"Yep. He uses lightning to speed up his movements so I thought why can't wind do the same theoretically. A bit of practice, a whole of experiment, jumping from great heights and boom – " Naruto clapped his hands, "My very own chakra mode."

"Impressive." Minato commented.

"Thanks. Drains my chakra stupidly fast though. Can't really keep it up that long. But I move _real_ fast."

Minato smiled to himself. "Not faster than space-time though."

Naruto scoffed. "Pff, can you fly?"

"Who needs to fly when you can teleport faster than the speed of light?"

"Would be impressive if it was your _own_ jutsu."

Minato gave out a small hiss. "Oooo ouch. That was a burn. So it's going to be like that eh?"

"Damn straight."

"Best not let me see you use _my_ rasengan anymore."

"Oooo ouch. It's going to be like that?"

" _Damn_ straight."

"Fine. I'll just use _my_ wind and fire variants. You know, _complete_ jutsu. Something you have _yet_ to do."

"…I hate you."

"Love you too dad."

They both shared a laugh.

"Don't feel so big now." Minato said as his chuckles quieted. "I'm still working on it. Just have to sit still long enough for s –"

"Incoming." Naruto interrupted gesturing to the door. Just as he finished speaking there was a knock on the door.

"Shit who is it now?" Minato whispered to his son.

"From the feel of this chakra just a fodder."

Minato gave him a look. "Naruto."

He grinned so much like his mother. "I kid, I kid. Just a chunin."

Minato shook his head in exasperation. "Enter."

A dark haired chunin entered the office with a bow. "Hokage-sama I have here the requested…" The man trailed off finally noticing the Fourth Hokage and son, side by side, sprawled out on the floor. "Uh..er…um should I come back later Hokage-sama?"

"Or not all." Naruto whispered. He gave a wince as Minato elbowed him.

"Just set the documents down on my desk."

The sweating man numbly nodded his head as he slowly walked forward, carefully stepping over the duo making sure not to step on them. All the while trying to ignore the stare from the Fourth and the disturbingly wide grin Naruto was giving him.

"R-Right here?" The man asked pointing to a spot on the desk not covered with paperwork.

Minato nodded with a smile. "Right there."

He nodded, slowly lowering the documents on the desk with his shaking hands. Task completed, he awkwardly bowed and made his way to door. Closing it behind him, the chunin rapidly walked away.

"Hmm his chakra felt so clouded…so small and insignificant. Typical fodder."

Minato took a few moments to hide his grin. "Stop using that term. You know it's derogatory."

"It's true though." Naruto shrugged. "There's good shinobi, there's bad and there's fodder. Fodder, fodder, fodder –"

"Alright, alright." Minato stopped him failing to hide his grin. "Don't let me hear you go around calling fodder that."

"Don't you mean _people_?"

"I said people."

"Right, whatever helps you sleep at night old man."

"Yo mama." Minato grinned lecherously.

"…I walked right into that one."

"Mhmm. And you're finally out of the house tonight." He giggled to himself. "While the kid is away, the adults will _play_."

Naruto slapped his hands over his ears. "I seriously do _not_ need to hear you say that."

"Oh shush. How do you think I felt when I caught you alone at home mas–"

Naruto's face matched his hair as he slapped a hand over his mouth. "You promised to never speak of _that_ moment ever again." He slowly removed his hands seeing the twinkle in his father's eyes. "Besides I was like 16 back then. My hormones were haywire."

"And they aren't now? Rumor's been going around that you and Tsume's daughter –"

"Don't believe it. We broke up a _long_ time ago."

"You did the breaking up or she did?"

"I did."

"Don't turn into no heartbreaker now. Out of all the women I've been with" –

"You mean the _only_ one you've been with."

"Out of all the women I've been with," Minato continued ignoring the interruption, "I've made sure to never break any hearts."

"Cause mom will pop a few Kyuubi tails and start the apocalypse." Naruto commented. "Not to mention kill you."

Minato's mouth opened then closed. "True." He finally agreed.

Naruto shook his head in pity. "You're so whipped it's embarrassing."

"First Kakashi and then you. Why does everybody keep saying that?"

"Cause its _true_." Naruto stared at him.

Minato stared back.

Naruto raised a red eyebrow.

"It's true!" Minato suddenly shoved his face into Naruto's shoulder and began to weep. "She's so controlling!" Naruto patted his back in sympathy.

"I know she is dad."

"She bats those pretty violet eyes at me and tells me to do _this_ and do _that._ " He gestured widely with his arms. "And always tucks that long red hair behind her ear in that _special_ way that she knows drives me gaga." Minato rubbed a strand of Naruto's hair comparing it to his mothers.

"It's not fair _._ "

"Life's not fair." Naruto wondered if there was any dinner left at home.

Once again, Minato's mood flipped. "But at the same time she has her moments."

"Oh boy here we go again. I swear mom has knocked you around too much times."

"She can _knock_ me around any time she wants." The grin on Minato's face would put Jiraiya's to shame.

Naruto slowly shook his head. "You need help old man."

"I do." Minato admitted, grin still on his face. "I'm going to get some thorough help when I get home tonight."

"You know…" Naruto said after a moment of thought. "Considering the parents I have I'm glad I turned out mentally stable."

"I wonder what kind of panties Kushina-chan is going to wear? I hope it's the orange ones."

"Dammit old man I don't need to hear that!" Naruto shouted jumping to his feet. "You need –"

He paused suddenly turning his head in the direction of the door. "We got company coming."

Minato jumped to his feet making his way to his desk. "Who?"

"The senior squad." Naruto answered as Minato seated himself.

"E.t.a?"

"thirty seconds."

"Shit."

"The Third is the only calm one." Naruto added as he focused his senses. "The other three stooges are all tense."

"It must be about your mission to Kumogakure. No doubt about _that._ "

"Politics as usual." Naruto shook his head. "Always the same."

"Just relax and let me do the talking. And try not to be rude Naruto." Minato gave him a look of warning.

"No promises." Naruto grinned just as a knock was heard on the door.

"Enter." Minato called to the door. It opened revealing the Konoha Council. Each individual elder had a decorated career of serving Konoha for more than _sixty_ years, more than any Shinobi in the history of Konoha. Such a feat was even more impressive considering they were all healthy and despite their advanced age, quite capable as shinobi.

"Hokage-sama." The four all bowed at once in greeting.

"Esteemed elders, to what do I owe the pleasure of such a late night visit?" Minato asked as Naruto moved to stand beside his desk.

"Good evening to you Hokage-sama, I'm glad to see you and your son doing well." Hiruzen started off with a smile. Minato returned the smile with a nod and Naruto did the same.

"Yo teach!"

Hiruzen laughed at the greeting. Beside him, Councillor Homura Mitokado adjusted the glasses on his face as lips turned into a frown. "Greetings out of the way Hokage-sama we all wish to discuss your son's mission to Kumogakure at length please."

To Homura's left and fellow Councillor Koharu Utatane's ever squinted eyes glanced at Naruto. At least he thinks she was. Could never tell what the hell she was looking at with her squinted eyes.

"We believe young Naruto-sama will be _lax_ in his procedure. Despite his impressive skills and power, he is quite prone to moments of unwise judgement."

Naruto's mouth dropped open. Oh no the _fuck_ she didn't!

Before he could give his scathing retort Minato held up his hand to silence him. Naruto remained silent seeing the look he received.

Minato smiled at the woman. "Of course councillor. If you would all please follow me to my office lounge." He finished getting out of his seat. He walked towards the far right of the office towards a door and opened it waiting patiently for them to pass. Hiruzen went in first, followed by the rest of the Elders. The last to enter was the war hawk himself as his lone eye stared at both father and son as he passed. Naruto gave a grimace and Minato gently pushed him inside closing the door behind him. Naruto chose to stand by the door taking note of a small seal that faded from view as the lounge became sound proof. Only the Hokage would be able to open it.

In the lounge were two large couches sitting parallel to each other. They were large enough to seat four persons. On the wall in front of the couches were portraits of all former Hokage. On the opposite wall was a small window that held a beautiful view of Konoha as the sun began to set.

Minato sat first on one couch, and all the elders sat opposite to him on the other one.

Naruto meanwhile shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the door as he prepared himself for a long and boring conversation. Except for the Third, the rest of them were pricks.

Especially Danzou.

He always hated how Danzou's chakra felt. There was something _definitely_ wrong with it but he could never tell what it was. For one the man's reserves were still unnaturally large for his advanced age and the chakra around his covered arm and eye were sealed completely off. Even to his advanced senses.

"Ahem."

The voice drew his attention to his father. Only then did he realize everyone was staring at him.

"What?" He asked after the silence stretched on.

"Why don't you take a seat Naruto-kun." The Third suggested. "This conversation will be long."

Minato patted the open space next to him and Naruto acquiesced with a sigh. He plopped down beside his father and crossed his arms.

He tried not to focus on the wrinkles of each face in front of him.

"For the sake of time, we'll make this as brief as possible." Homura was the one to break the ice. "Your _S-ranked_ mission to spy on Kumogakure under the guise of a B-rank mission to deliver containment seals needs further consideration"

Father and son shared a glance. "What more do you want?" Minato asked.

Koharu cleared her throat before speaking. "Frankly we need numbers. We need rough estimates of their shinobi count; we need locations of certain buildings, HVT's (high valued targets) and most important of all, the location of their weapon."

"The Eight Tails Jinchuurki." Minato stated more to himself remembering his encounter with the A-B combo all those years ago.

Homura nodded. "Also the location of one of their most closely guarded secrets. There's a rumour of this…" He shared a glance with Koharu, "Secret training ground that Kumo has. A _moving_ island. It is said that on this island the Eight Tails jinchuuriki has mastered his demon and achieved perfection. We want you, Naruto, to find out anything you can about the island."

"Why tell me all this when I'm about to leave. You do know I'm leaving tonight right?" Naruto questioned rhetorically. "Would have been beneficial to tell me this when I you lot in this room a week ago and gave me the mission the first time."

"Things have changed Naruto." Hiruzen tried to placate him. "Hostilities between us and them have grown further. More so with the Hyuuga Clan."

Minato frowned at that. "There have been reports of a spike in Kumo aggression mainly towards Hyuuga Clan members out on missions."

"Their aggressive attempts at gaining bloodlines know no bounds." Hiruzen added. "We have been peaceful for too long."

Minato regrettably sighed. "It would seem the only way to make A listen is through force rather than reason."

"It's time to put an end to this Cold War between our villages." Danzou spoke for the first time. "With your capabilities Naruto we would have the advantage when the inevitable war comes to fruition."

" _When_ Danzou?" Minato questioned tonelessly. "One would think you _want_ another war to break out."

"Of course not Hokage-sama." Danzou bowed his head a tad. "I'm just insuring _all_ decisions are taking into account should it ever come to pass."

"Let us hope it never comes to such a state." Hiruzen pulled his pipe from his robe and put it to his lips. With a brief mould of chakra it was lit. He took a few puffs and exhaled slowly. Seeing Naruto's look he briefly smiled and offered it him.

Naruto accepted it with a smile and took a few deep puffs. "Damn, this some good shit."

"We grow it naturally in the compound." Hiruzen commented with a smirk.

Naruto offered it to his dad. "Try some, Sensei always gets the good stuff."

Minato sighed and took it with a grimace. "Don't tell your mother." He took a few puffs…

And started coughing.

Naruto slapped his back a few times as he grinned. "Haha newbie!"

Minato took a few deep breaths to calm himself before he handed it back to Naruto. "This is why - " He let out another cough, "I don't smoke."

Naruto took a few more puffs. "Ah, real good shit." He saw both Homura and Koharu looking at the pipe and raised a brow at them. "You two want?"

They wordlessly nodded.

Well might as well pass around the blunt. This reminded of the good old days with Itachi and Shisui.

Koharu accepted it first and took a drag.

"Moving back to business," Homura brought the conversation back to serious once again. "What's the range of your sensory abilities Naruto?" He questioned accepting the pipe from Koharu.

Naruto shrugged. "Five kilometres give or take depending how much I mold my chakra. At max ten." That was a lie. If he focused his chakra he could double that number. But they didn't need to know that.

"You would definitely be able to map out most of Kumogakure then." Koharu rubbed her chin in thought. "Yes that will do splendid."

Homura offered the pipe to Danzou who took at after a pause. Even the old warkawk couldn't resist some good weed. "How much in detail can you detect individual chakra signatures?"

Naruto shrugged once again. "Good enough I suppose. I can detect their nature type and if they're under genjutsu or not. All the basic stuff." It was bullshit but Naruto wasn't about to hand out the important information on his special ability. Sitting down right here, he could feel Itachi's chakra on the other side of Konoha at the Uchiha district having a rather heated discussion with his father. Sasuke was making his way back to the house with a pack on his shoulder. He focused on his house identifying the chakra signatures there. Almost like a sonar, he could see the surrounding area in great detail. He could see his mom washing the dishes at home, Kakashi discretely trying to reading his book behind her back. The pale boy on the team had already packed for the mission and was sitting down on the front steps writing something in a book. The pink haired girl was making her way back to the house with her own pack. Interesting all their chakras were feeling clouded. Both with fear and anger.

"That will work well enough." Danzou exhaled a puff of smoke as he handed the pipe back to Hiruzen. "I have question for you now Naruto. Have you ever heard of the legend of the Treasured Tools? "

"The ones said to have been wielded by the Sage of Sixth Paths?" He asked receiving a nod from Danzou. "Don't tell me Kumo has them? I thought they all were a legend."

Hiruzen smiled at that. "Like all great legends, there is truth within the myth."

All Elders nodded at that.

"So the Sage of Sixth Paths really existed?" Naruto questioned with a frown.

"Of course Naruto-kun." Hiruzen answered as he puffed away. "I remember Hashirama-sama always speaking of both the Senju and Uchiha being direct descendants of the Two Sons."

"From the older one came the Uchiha, the eyes and chakra of the sage, and from the younger one came the Senju, the body and life force correct?" Minato asked surprising Naruto and the Elders.

"Very good Hokage-sama." Hiruzen praised. "Such knowledge is ancient, only accessible to oldest of clans."

"I have my ways." He said with a shrug, mirroring his son.

"So from what you've all been saying Kumogakure has the all-powerful weapons of the Sage of Sixth Paths?"

Danzo shook his. "No. It is fortunate that they only have one. The others are lost to history along with their wielders."

"The Silver and Gold brothers." Hiruzen said with a scowl. The rest of the elders mirrored his expression remembering the day that the brothers attacked both the Nidaime Hokage and Raikage. It was a miracle both men even survived.

"So which of these Treasures does Kumo have?"

Danzou was the one to answer. "The _Amber Purifying Pot_. Said to seal anyone within it at the mere mention of their _name._ If he or she responds after being called that is."

Naruto whistled appreciatively. "That's some powerful sealing. I'm guessing you want to know the location?"

Danzou nodded at that. "Yes if you can try –"

"Don't even _think_ of attempting to steal it Naruto." Minato interrupted glaring at Danzou. "It's Kumo's national treasure. It would be one of their most heavily guarded items."

Koharu tried to amend Danzou's wording. "Naruto is an acquisitions specialist. One of –if not – the very _best._ Tracking, assassination, infiltration and recovery is his specialty."

"He isn't _required_ to steal it, but if he gets the opportunity…" Homura left the suggestion open.

Minato shook his head. "It's too dangerous. And they would _know_ it was him. He would have Kumo's entire military bearing down at him."

"Had worse." Naruto cheekily added.

"But Hokage-sama you must reconsider –" Minato held up a hand to silence Koharu.

"The location is what you want and that is what you will get. My decision is final. I will _not_ compromise on that matter."

Naruto held up his hand.

Minato rolled his eyes. "Yes Naruto?"

"Don't I get a say in this matter Hokage-dad-sama?"

"You seriously want to risk stealing a national treasure from Kumogakure by yourself?" Minato questioned.

"Well would you rather me or some other shinobi that they're going to send?" Naruto asked. "I know I could steal it. Worse comes to worse, you could just Thunder God me back if I run into trouble."

Minato quickly thought it over. "That could work. The only problem is that they would know it was you who stole it."

"And that would mean certain war." Hiruzen stroked his goatee as he leaned back. "A rather unappealing outcome."

"It's settled then. Naruto will stick with the spying. Nothing _else_. Is that understood?"

"Yes Hokage-sama." All shinobi chorused at once.

Minato clapped his hands. "Good this meeting is adjourned then." He stood and made his way to the door briefly applying his chakra allowing it to unlock. He held it open for everyone to exit with a smile. "Thank you for your visit esteemed elders and for your continued council."

"A pleasure as always Hokage-sama, Naruto-sama." Homura bid farewell as he and Koharu exited. Danzou hobbled out with his cane giving them both a silent nod.

"Set me up with an ounce Sensei. And send me a pipe like yours." Hiruzen laughed as he clasped Naruto on the shoulder.

"No problem my boy. It will be ready when you get back. As for me I need to spend some quality time with my dear wife. Hokage-sama, Naruto-kun, I bid you both a goodnight." Hiruzen gave them a final nod as he walked out leaving father and son alone.

Naruto was last to walk out as Minato closed the door behind him.

"You sure you're up for this?" Minato asked laying a hand on his shoulder.

"What? You getting worried about me old man?" Naruto grinned. "Getting soft in your old age."

Minato stared at him in silence, his blue eyes staring up into his own. Ah, he had to look _up_ now to meet Naruto's gaze. He could remember when Naruto was a tiny little thing like it was yesterday.

Now he was on the cusp of being man.

The years sure went by fast.

"I'll be fine dad." Naruto rested his hand over his fathers. "Don't forget, I'll have Kakashi and his team with me." Naruto took note of the way Minato's chakra briefly fluctuated. "You purposefully added Team 7 to the mission didn't you?"

"It's so unfair that you can tell when people are lying."

"I knew that mission parameters stuff was bullshit."

Minato softly smiled. "I was worried okay."

Naruto softly thumped him in the chest. "If you worry so much those yellow locks of yours are going to grey early."

The hand on his shoulder tightened just a tad. "You calling me old?" Minato frowned.

"I ain't changing no diapers old man. Soon gonna call you the Yellow _Ass_ when you get all wrinkly."

Minato tried not to laugh but Naruto's grin was too much. They both shared a laugh together before Minato brought him in for a hug. Surprised at the action Naruto smiled and returned the hug patting Minato on the back.

"Be safe Naruto."

"I will."

Minato held him at arm's length giving him a final look before he nodded letting go of Naruto's shoulders.

"Trip home please." Naruto held up his hand and gave a salute. "Be back in about week."

Minato nodded and he focused his chakra to the mark he kept at home.

 _Fwip!_

With a flash of red, Naruto was gone.

Minato momentarily stared at the spot he had been before he moved before passing his desk to stare out the window. He took a moment to observe his village as it's people went about their nighttime business. The village lights shined brightly under the night sky. A gentle breeze blew in through the office ruffling his white haori.

He took in the sights for a few more minutes before turning back to his desk. There was paper work to be done.

* * *

Kushina finished washing up the dishes and turned around just in time to catch Kakashi hiding his book.

"Was that what I think it was Kaka – _kya!_ " She yelped as hands gripped her waist and swung her around in a hug. Kakashi quickly spun around reaching for a kunai but relaxed seeing the familiar red hair.

"Momzie!" Naruto greeted as he set her down kissing her cheek. "Miss me?"

"You were gone for less than half an hour you big headed oaf." She answered patting his cheek. "Have a nice chat with your father?"

"Yep." Naruto made his way to the stove focusing on the pot. He licked his lips before opened it up with a grin, only for his face to fall seeing it was empty. "Aw no more food." Shucks.

"Don't worry already got you covered." Kushina walked up to him and handed him a scroll. "Breakfast, lunch, and dinner all in one."

Naruto accepted with a soft grin. "Thanks mom." She returned the expression with a warm gaze, staring at him in silence. "What?"

Her gaze was still warm, and held nothing but maternal love. But it had a certain glint that made him feel like he was being scrutinized as if she could _see_ something only a mother could know. "You okay?"

Naruto slowly nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"You just look …tense"

"Me? Pff naw." Naruto waved off her concern. "I'm just ready to get this show on the road. Speaking of which, time to go Kakashi. Your little trolls are gonna be outside pretty soon."

"Maa, they're not all that ugly." He slowly stood and stretched. "Actually they are." He gave Kushina a silent wave as he made his way to door. "Next time Kushina-sama."

"Later Kakashi-kun, don't be a stranger!" She called after him. She turned her attention back to Naruto and her smile faded. Naruto frowned at the feeling of her chakra.

"What's wrong mom?" He rubbed her shoulder making her eyes lower. "Hey, what's a matter?"

"It's nothing." Kushina whispered causing her chakra to fluctuate.

"You do know that I can tell when you're lying."

Her cheeks turned red in embarrassment. "Fine, fine. It's just that…Minato told me about the mission."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You know this is off the records S-rank right? Such callous abuse of power comes with consequ –" He chuckled to himself. "Ah, couldn't finish that with a straight face. I seriously give no fucks that he told you." He shrugged.

"Language." Kushina warned not having the energy to smack him. "I'm just worried."

"I swear both of you do this with every S-ranked mission. You worry non-stop and try to discreetly talk me out of it and cry your hearts out when I come home. Well more like you cry, while dad just looks relieved."

Kushina stared up into his face. "It's called being a parent Naruto-kun."

"I'm glad I ain't one."

She smacked him in the head. "Hey! I'm expecting to be a grandmother before I get too old _dattebane_!" She slapped a hand over her out in embarrassment as her face did an impression of her hair.

"Wow." Naruto said after a few moments of silence. "Haven't heard that in about week. You tried so hard too. Could have been a new record."

"It's not my fault!" Kushina whined. "It just slips out."

"Well there's always speech therapy…." He trailed off seeing the look he was receiving. "Hehe just kidding."

"You better be mister." Kushina huffed as she hugged him tightly. Naruto returned the embrace just as strong before he reluctantly pulled away.

"Be back soon okay."

"Promise?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good." She stretched up on her tiptoes to kiss a whiskered cheek and gave him one last hug.

He gave her a salute and with that, turned and headed for the door. He opened it up and without looking back – _he never looked back_ –he was gone.

Kushina leaned back on the counter as she let out a sigh. She massaged her temples taking deep breaths to try and calm the sudden swell of worry. "He'll be fine." Her voice said to the silence. It was more to herself as she nodded her head in resolve.

With his senses, he could see everyone and anything. The only limitation was his range.

The _second_ seal on her stomach pulsed and a warm body suddenly enveloped her. A familiar scent filled her nostrils and she wrapped her arms around her husband.

"I hope everything goes well."

"He'll be fine wifey." Minato nuzzled his face into her long red hair taking a deep breath. "He knows how to take care of himself."

"But what if –"

"No buts Kushina-chan." Minato leaned back to look down at her. "He's not a kid anymore. He's right on the cusp of adulthood."

"He's only eighteen." Kushina pouted.

"So, I'm only thirty-six."

Kushina giggled at the joke pressing her face against his chest. "Fine, fine I'll try not to worry."

"Good." Minato's eyes trailed up and down her clothing appreciatively. "Now you're in trouble little miss. You've left me thinking about you all day in my office."

Kushina smirked at him. "Oh forgive me. How can I ever make it up to you _Hokage-sama?_ " She purred.

"I love it when you call me Hokage-sama."

She slowly stroked his cheek. "I know."

Minato stared at her for a few more seconds before he shook his. "Sorry can't wait no more!" He grabbed a squealing Kushina by the hips and disappeared in a _flash._

Outside the house Naruto was looking at the trio of genin .

"So it's Sai and Sakura right?" He received nods from the two. "Damn you look like you badly need some sun and you –" He pointed at Sakura's forehead, "That is one big ass forehead." He ignored her slack jawed stare as he pointed at the last member. "And you. Turn that frown upside down. If you frown so much it's going to stick on your face."

Sasuke's scowl only deepened.

"Let's not forget you." He pointed at Kakashi who stuck his face out of his book.

"Maa, you say something?"

"You've always been fucked up so there's nothing to say."

"Wouldn't have it any other way." Kakashi eye smiled.

Naruto grinned at him before turning his attention back to the trio. "Alright Team 7, I'm only going to say this once. We'll be heading into a hostile village. I want you to stick with your Sensei at _all_ times. Under no circumstances are you to go out on your own. We'll only be there for forty-eight hours at maximum as that's the limit allowed for Konoha Shinobi on delivery missions. Please do not do anything stupid. Am I clear?

"Yes Naruto-sama." They chorused.

"Excellent. Kakashi you have point. You can set the pace for your team."

"Roger." The man saluted as put his book in his pouch. "Standard diamond formation. It's about four days travel to Land of Lightning. We'll do burst of eight hour travel, then two hour rest. If we average that time we should make it on schedule. Should be good training for you guys."

Sakura did the math. "So in total counting our rest periods, eighteen hours of travel a day. Yeah, we would make it by the fourth day."

"I don't sleep much anyways." Sai said tonelessly.

"Maybe you should spend more time outside then." Naruto ruffled Sai's head with a grin.

"Noted."

Sasuke was silent as ever as he adjusted the pack on his back. "Can we go now?"

"Yep!" Kakashi said with false cheer. "To the gates."

With that said they made their way to the gates. Naruto needed to only show the mission scroll before the team was giving clearance to leave.

Kakashi set a fast pace as they quickly moved through the forest of Fire Country. Naruto expanded his senses back to Konoha to give his family one last look.

His eyes widened and he stumbled getting curious eyes from everyone. Face red, and eye badly twitching he scowled to himself. "Kami you guys couldn't even wait."

* * *

 ** _A bit more lighthearted in tone but as you should expect from my stories it will soon have its twist and turns as it grows darker. More character driven as well. A lot of characters have stories to tell like Sasuke for example. He's being his bitchy self for a reason. And as you can see the Kyuubi attack never happened so all who died on that day are still alive. All will be explained soon enough. Oh and if anyone can guess Naruto's ability you'll earn a special pm message from me where I'll answer one question for each of the stories I have posted... they can be about anything, so think carefully._**

 ** _Other than that I will see you all when I eventually get around to finishing YF's next chapter. Could be the next few days. Maybe even weeks. Or months. Might even be next year? Who knows..._**

 ** _And yes I do enjoy drinking your tears as you beg for an update. Their saltiness pleases me._**

 ** _(PS For a certain someone, if you're reading this The Things They Carried was damn good read)_**


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